This is an emotional tribute to a normal, multifunctional middle class gem of a person from whom I have learnt most of the wisdom to go by in my life and which needless to say has rendered me socially inept and dysfunctional and surprisingly happy and at peace with my life. So, I bow my head and surrender my conscience to one and only- 'Chacha'. May you be the guiding light of wisdom and common sense to the world as you have been for me. Let the lives of those who need you be touched by that enlightening wisdom that God can dare bequeath to the gifted and chosen ones as rare as you.
So here goes Chacha.
1) Chacha as Friend : Chacha is a friend you can only win through prayers. Personally Chacha is Chacha to me and I am Chacha to Chacha. So you can see it is close and complicated. I say Chacha is a good friend because when he befriends you, his friendship sheaths your life completely, whether you want it or not. He just cant stop from worrying about you so he tries to know you, fathom your secrets, your worries and what not. He isn't just a presence in your friend list, he befriends your other friends and your girlfriend too.And why so? Because he cares. Even when you cant find time for that nagging , possessive dame of yours pestering you 24x7 for attention and everything, Chacha intervenes like a Godsend miracle. He talks to the babe, and before you know, the babe is talking more to Chacha than to you. And this at times worries lesser mortals who are insecure and spineless, thinking Chacha is sucking the happiness out of their love, incurring the wrath of God upon themselves for they have doubted one of his own- and results turn out to be predictable. After a while the poor chap tells Chacha that he and the dame have broken up, making Chacha feel sad and clueless as to what might have gone wrong in such a beautiful relationship.
But that's just Chacha with a big heart, for he cares.
2) Chacha On Love : Ahh Love , Chacha's forte ! For my English never being commensurate to the standards of a genius like him, I used to ask my doubts in Hindi and Chacha taking pity on me used to explain his revelations partly in Hindi and English to me. So here is an excerpt of a conversation which throws light on the depth of his wisdom on human anguish.
Me: Chacha, yaar ek baat batao, hum jis umar mein hain, wahan yadi koi sundar ladki dikhti bhi hai to ya to wo already kisi bande ke saath ghuum rahi hoti hai ya shaadi karke FB pe photo laga laga ke hum jaison ki aankh mein mirch chidak rahi hoti hai. Aise mein hum logon ke liye kya raasta bacha hai ? Koi hope hai ya nahi?
Chacha : ( Smiles and a deep sigh and then a long pause for he has to change his bollywood actress wallpaper for the day after which he looks at my face, his gaze penetrative and fixed): Bhool jao Chacha... sab moh maaya hai. And if at all you have to know the truth, then know this and remember this till you breathe your last. We have known and seen people to fall in love, fall out of love, send e- cards on Valentine's Day, have night out sessions behind department corridors and more. You know enough even if it is not much. So after this whatever comes in your life , however glorious, would generate emotions in your brain much like a second hand stuff. For you will know how to react even before she puts up an act. So there isn't a possibility of a thrill, the so called spark in the so called love that you want and every damned soul around is craving for, like a zombie craving gore. So you see, while the Gods up there and the people around you try to throw shit on your face, you must try to hold on to something more tangible, more near and accessible and more omnipresent.
Me : And what is that Chacha?
Chacha : Well if 5 years of college hasn't taught you, then you need to be ashamed of yourself.
Me : Say no more. But there is one more question. How have you dealt with this haunting sense of ennui ?
Chacha : I play footer, watch chick flicks and animation movies, spending 250 on a movie which I could have downloaded if I had it in me to wait for 2 weeks and not succumb to the metro sexual instincts which i have struggled so long to inculcate, to prove to this cruel city that even I can fit in.
Also when I find time and an opportunity to talk to some babe , say in a bus or someplace quiet, which can be construed as a golden opportunity by those out there, I coax myself to fall into a deep contemplative silence, much like that of parallel cinema protagonist, who has nothing more than a dick left to speak of his manhood. But that is just me, pitted against the workings of this cruel world. You find your own path.
Me : As you say, shall be done.
Chacha on Food : Chacha and food go leg in hand. Chicken leg in Chacha's hand. Enough said.
Chacha on Art : Chacha has a thing for contemporary cinema and tries to experience a wide spectrum of visual articulation of human emotions in almost all languages, but has a soft corner for French and Italian and Latin American movies.I once had the honourable privilege of watching one such movie with him, the context or meaning of which I was unable to fathom, for I was totally into what Eva Green would do next, for she was doing all of what I could have asked her to do in a movie. In one such scene there were 3 characters, a woman and 2 gentlemen in a situation which in utmost modest reference should be described as compromising. I could guess one of them to be the boyfriend, but the identity of the other gentleman I couldn't make out.So I turned to Chacha for help, and again with a condescending smile which was filled with both pity and sympathy, he told in a rather nonchalant way,"..Ohhh wo... wo dusra wala ladki ka bhai hai.. ". Then and there I knew Chacha wasn't just eclectic in choosing his indulgences, but he had allowed himself to transcend the confines of reason, lest they interfere with his artistic musings.
So, there you have it. Chacha through my eyes. I fully acknowledge the ineptitude of this portrayal in describing a personality as magnanimous as his, but for what it's worth this is just a modest tribute. I feel honoured to have even attempted to do what I have done. But if we have anything to learn from mythology, we should know that a person of this glory was once before wronged in his time and landed up on a bed of arrows. All I can wish for is to not let that foolishness be repeated in these times. So gentlemen and ladies, to whom this may appeal, he is out there, single, available and much to your good fortune, still sane and healthy. So those of you who know him or will come to know him after reading this, please give yourselves a chance and that too for your own good.
All hail Chacha !!!!
