Ek Dastaan Kai Kirdaar

Jo bhi likha jayega bade tute dilon ki kahaniyaan hain. Kuch dekhi hain,kuch suni hain,kuch badi kareeb se jaani hain.Isliye Hindi aur English dono shamil hongi.Shaharyar ne sach kaha hai ki “kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahan nahi milta, kahin zameen to kahin aasmaan nahin milta”. Yes ,the saga envelopes the myriad hues in which the arrows of cupid have coloured the lives of many love struck enthusiasts who have fallen prey to this bitter sweet sickness of their hearts.

Telling the story on a personal note my education about the garden of cupid began very early I guess, when I started per say liking my school senior girls,without actually caring much as to what was likeable about them other than the fact that they did seem to know the world better than I did,and that my friends is an A on my score card.But my fantasies played on a very platonic note and that too gentled by the very safe conversation patterns that began with addresses like,” A didi …..aap ..blaah blaah blaah”, to “ok… acha theek hai B didi ”.Yes ,”didi “ had to be there because nothing else could better fit in. Sad thing is ,after 15 years, even now I can’t find a better fit there in.
I guess, as much as my memory isn’t failing me,Titanic was the breakthrough.A tale that raised the hopes that impossible is ‘quite’possible.Love happens, just as shit does, and for no reason that your cognitive faculties can find support for. I guess that was near the dawn of the millennium and college was far, I thought, way to go, good stuff, college years, here I come.
IIT happened, and in those five glorious years, I must say ,a lot happened(mere sath nahi ).Yahan tha ki mujhe pehli baar pata chala ki pyaar bhi tech societies(yahan sabke piche tech juda tha, music dance, drama, ishq tak ) ke programmes ki tarah ek systematic planned affair hai. Badi mehnat hua karti thi aur ek se ek diggaj ashiq dekhey. Jo institute aur cross institute dimesnsions pe kehelne ka madda rakhtey the unhone us scale pe jaadu dikhaya. Khud Bengal rahe aur UP ko manaya. Jinke ishq pe din pehredar hua karta tha, unko raat gaye 2.2 (pyaar wali sadak thi ye) pe dherey dherey cycle thame muskurate batiyaate dekha jaata .Kai khiladi aise the jinhe mausam aur zindagi dono se vasta nahi tha.Din ke ghanton,classes ki girti attendance ke beech cafeteria ki coffee ki garmi ishq ko gunguna kiye rehti thi.Raat dhale ye laila majnu ,himakat ko bhi sharminda karke Bidhan chowk( pyaar ka Gol Chakkar) pe ek dusre se satey, pareshaan , kabhi khush ,kabhi jahgadtey , kabhi maaatey dekhe jaate.
Please these references should not put an impression that the institute was haunted by love struck ghosts of the ages gone by,of Shakesperian melodies and the great souls I am talking about had nothing to do with the ways of the world.As I said technology was always there.There was Google, then google chat,then orkut,and I realized through these what share technology claims in the lives of us mere mortals chasing the ephemeral bliss , the tantalizing grandeur of becoming a legend in the Cupidland.
Inke rehtey ,wo duur ho ke bhi paas the.Main maafi chahunga,main mobile ko bhul gaya.Badi kambakht cheez hai. Maine dekha hai ghanton ghanton,raaton raaton, kaise mere azeez apne apne dil e bimaar behlaya kartey the.Jab unke balance khatam ho jaate ya jaan ka dushman network pyaar mein kaanta hota, to doston ke phone sahara hotey the.Karaar ye tha ki kabhi kabhi humare hisse bhi Meghdoot hone ki izzat bakhshi jaati thi, udhar se request hoti thi” ‘Uska’ phone nahi uth raha…zara baat kara do”. Humare jaise nakaam dil ye soch khush hote, chalo apna nahi ,apni wajah se kisi ka baag to sanwra.In sabhi tota maina episodes mein do aur cheezein hain jinka asar bahut gehra raha hai.Ek to institute premises mein bikhre food joints jahan par saari deliberations bahut hud tak initiate aur finalise hua karti thiin aur dusra bike rides.Ji haan sahab, wo hero hero hi kya jo apni madam ko sair na kareye. Yahan apni tangnaseebi ye thi ki bike to chalani aati nahi thi , darr darr ke seekha tha to scooter, aur wo ya to wahan kuch professors chalaya karte the ya kuch ‘not so famous’ faces of the campus .

Ye na tha ki ye sab humein chua nahi, kai din hum bhi gudgudaye, par jab gudgudi,bahut dinon gudgudi hi bani rahi,to akal aayi ki rehne do,ye wo khel nahi jiske tum khiladi ho.
There was another side that played to my disadvantage.The kind of friend circle I was so cherishing became the determining factor to kill any hopes that could have kindled the flames of my distraught heart. Booze was the most sacrosanct presence and in drunken stupor the way life cleared its game, most of the joys of the heart turned into frivolities that presented themselves in a naked shameless dance, and to that, any mind that still has an ounce of reason left can give nothing else but a flying fuck.
Magar hamari choriye sarkar,yahan baat bulbulon aur sayyadon ki ho rahi hai. Jaisa ki maine kaha shikari kai the,shikaar kai. Do dhai saalon ki mehnat kaiyon ke liye nazdikiyan banin ,kaiyon ki mehnat ,ghante aur paise,sab barbaad ho gaye. Kai baar to yahan tak dekha ki shikaar ki tayaariyan kisi aur bulbul ke naam thiin,magar dil ka pinjara kisi aur hi ke naam ho gaya. Par jindagi ke sach chahe kitne hi mayuus hon,kitne ki kadwe, main salaam karta hun in dilfigaaron ki zid ko jinse ki ishq aur ishq ka naam raushan hai.Unko bhi jo naam kahin kho gaye,ya (khuda reham kare) badnaam ho gaye.Mera sar unke aage bhi jhukta hai jinke ishq aaj zamane ke dastuur aur ma baap ki zid ke aage majbur kuchle ja rahey hain, magar sahab investment itna kiya ja chuka hai ki koi haar manne ko tayyar nahi hai. Ye dil hi nahi dimaag wale log bhi hain.Mera akhiri salam unke naam hai jo apni khushiyon ke gulistan hakeekat se itne duur sajaa ke khush rehtey hain ki unhe unke ujadne ka koi darr nahi hai.Khwabon ko bhala kaun chuu saka hai.Unki nazdeeki hamare gam se hai,humari hakeekat se nahi.
Isliye friends and foes,before I close,here is a couplet from Faiz,
Tu jo mil jaaye to ye taqdeer niguun ho jaye,
Yun na thaa maine,faqat chaha tha yun ho jaaye

ख्वाहिश

ख्वाहिशें समेटी थीं इस दिल ने भी कई ,

मगर ख्वाबों का वो जहाँ नहीं मिला

कहीं दो पल ठहरने को ये ज़मीन ,
कहीं उड़ने को आसमान नहीं मिला

गुज़री हम पर जो इन राहों पे ऐ दिल ,
कहते मगर वो राज़दां नहीं मिला

ढूंढता हूँ दश्त -ओ -सेहरा में जिसको ,
बिछड़ा जो फिर वो कारवां नहीं मिला