Yes, I have started to feel time and again that the litmus test for a man to be hailed as civilized and progressive in his outlook is rooted in his psychological bend towards the fairer sex. To that end , if the answer to the above question is a flat ‘YES’ , well , you are the man, a perfect ten on ten talk show material. Even if you are somebody bordering close to being a feminist, you stand as the symbol of a class stratum that defies the so called ‘conventional’ or ‘bourgeoisie’, that has been sickening our society since long long past.
Why am I writing all this trash? Because last night on a news program I got to know how much pain the brainy, modernist girls of Delhi are taking to give strength to the cause of female dignity , by planning to carry out what they have called ‘Besharmi Morcha’. Allegations have been that this has been inspired by the ‘slut walk’ routines abroad, but saying this would be underestimating the strength and perspective of the educated , confident and forward looking women/girls of today. Hell, whatever be the cause, this kind of sentimental outpouring does indeed force me to impress upon the reader, the underlying dimensions of this issue, at least to the level I could comprehend.
One of the guests of the talk show, a woman, pointed out that the kind of demeanor you carry, must resonate with the cultural milieu around you. Now there is a psychological side to this problem. I had read somewhere , that in psychological studies, men are basically understood to be voyeurs and women to be exhibitionists. And this is the reason why mars and venus find such a deep consonance in relating to each other, like missing pieces of a puzzle completing each other. This seems quite obvious because in relating like this what is coming into play are the biological selves of the players involved, rather than their socio-cultural ethos, which rather would seem like deterrents in such manifestations. If this is taken to be true then one’s sensitivity towards the cultural reality of one’s society must play a crucial role in deciding what to wear and what not to. Thus it is fine and quite acceptable if you clomp around naked in the nude beaches of western Europe, but borrowing or assimilating such kind of cultural expressions of one’s freedom in a third world country like ours would translate into creating a pervert’s paradise. It must be understood and sincerely acknowledged that no matter where the GDP is soaring, how many Tata Nanos are there on the road, how many bollywood names have been amalgamated into Hollywood, when it comes to grassroots, ours is a tale of deprivation. Struggles abound starting from worrying about a hungry stomach, a terminally sick family member amidst dwindling assets, a property feud, to this general sense of ennui and helplessness which even the so called capable and assertive brass of our society fall prey to. The heterogeneities and conflicts boiling within and outside do force us to seek an escape, a temporary sense of control, and suppressed over time this strife finds violent expressions. I very clearly remember, it was around 2002 -03 that in Delhi only there were frequent news pieces about girls being picked in cars , raped and then thrown out of different cars. I don’t remember whether the culprits were caught or not, but there were 3, 4 similar incidents of such sort. What worries most is the fact that such modus operandi deployed to such shameless ends indeed reveals how deep this sickness has crippled our psyche. Parallel to this there are scattered news flashes of sex rackets being discovered in the heart of cities and girls being fetched from small towns and forced into prostitution. Not only has our country flourished along the lines of inter state flesh trade within the land but is also gradually proving to be a convenient transit hub in the international trafficking. You have the example of Kamathipura where ,it has been found that children of 11 to 13 years are the ones most coveted by customers.
I say all this just to cover in part of how this threat, this diseased psyche of our society is going to put a question before your revolting self to constrain and I dare say decide for you as to how you can express your ‘confident’ self out there.
There is another very cunning side to this issue where the role of corporate , media and entertainment industry stands to be criticized. Over the past two and a half decades, if one looks at how the advertisement industry has changed , the kind of themes being projected before a huge and rather gullible strata of consumers to sell their products , is rather amusing. Gone are the days of a sweet little girl saying’ I love you Rasna’ . Today a mango flavoured beverage connotes a bollywood hottie getting really turned on like a bitch in heat by just gulping one drop of it ,because it isn’t just a mango, it is aamasutra at your service if you don’t know kamasutra. Then there are soap brands showing the same gorgeous beauties revealing their clean armpits, flawless skins and shapely legs before taking a bath, which seems more like a poetry in movements and I wonder how such a luxury of time and comfort materializes in the lives of the middle class wives and mothers of our society. If that wasn’t enough , there is an ad by one reputed shoe company which appeals to the female customers to purchase their particular line of shoes for ‘toned’ butts. I am a great fan of the minds behind that ad because for obvious reasons it is a feast for mind body and soul . But curiosity still haunts as to where the need for an extremely fine tuned posterior comes. I mean proportionate is understandable , disproportionate, quite visibly unacceptable, but this much attention for hips is what baffles me. But the ad shows happy confident young women shaking their behinds in a sense of jubilation , giving a promise of what was attainable has been attained, and now it’s our turn to do the same.
Coming to bollywood I must say, we have come a long way from asking really deep existential doubts like ‘Choli ke piche kya hai ?’ to appreciating why Sheila doesn’t need a man in her life because being capable enough she knows ways and means to pleasure herself which no mortal can avail. Kudos I must say. Then there are such inferior level displays of coitus on screen, a spoof like imitation of Hollywood glory but without the similar maturity of expressions and frankness. There you are allowed to see what all is to be seen,but here they just seem to titillate the ‘consumer needs’ and shy away from a responsible portrayal of such an obvious , natural and many times said to be the purest expression of love.
Well, without saying more all I want to emphasize is that such demands of more and more freedom in choices of clothing, of ensuring safety on streets , of ensuring dignity of women in and out of homes are just and earnestly needed. But they cannot come by creating such demands on one side and hammering on the very roots of our ethics which enshrine such principles. The visible and print media, having the greatest reach and thus penetration into the socio cultural lives of the people , must take a critical view of its position and role in shaping and nurturing these perspectives. Parallel to this the government , civil society and administration must seek to neutralize the penetrative mechanisms that render such positive efforts fruitless . Such untoward incidents of women being raped in police stations are a mark of shame on a welfare state. Last but not the least comes the role of people themselves of carrying themselves in a responsible fashion . It doesn’t take long for freedom to be abused as anarchy and such a transformation has repercussions for everyone, and this is what needs to be understood in a progressive and forward looking society.
Why am I writing all this trash? Because last night on a news program I got to know how much pain the brainy, modernist girls of Delhi are taking to give strength to the cause of female dignity , by planning to carry out what they have called ‘Besharmi Morcha’. Allegations have been that this has been inspired by the ‘slut walk’ routines abroad, but saying this would be underestimating the strength and perspective of the educated , confident and forward looking women/girls of today. Hell, whatever be the cause, this kind of sentimental outpouring does indeed force me to impress upon the reader, the underlying dimensions of this issue, at least to the level I could comprehend.
One of the guests of the talk show, a woman, pointed out that the kind of demeanor you carry, must resonate with the cultural milieu around you. Now there is a psychological side to this problem. I had read somewhere , that in psychological studies, men are basically understood to be voyeurs and women to be exhibitionists. And this is the reason why mars and venus find such a deep consonance in relating to each other, like missing pieces of a puzzle completing each other. This seems quite obvious because in relating like this what is coming into play are the biological selves of the players involved, rather than their socio-cultural ethos, which rather would seem like deterrents in such manifestations. If this is taken to be true then one’s sensitivity towards the cultural reality of one’s society must play a crucial role in deciding what to wear and what not to. Thus it is fine and quite acceptable if you clomp around naked in the nude beaches of western Europe, but borrowing or assimilating such kind of cultural expressions of one’s freedom in a third world country like ours would translate into creating a pervert’s paradise. It must be understood and sincerely acknowledged that no matter where the GDP is soaring, how many Tata Nanos are there on the road, how many bollywood names have been amalgamated into Hollywood, when it comes to grassroots, ours is a tale of deprivation. Struggles abound starting from worrying about a hungry stomach, a terminally sick family member amidst dwindling assets, a property feud, to this general sense of ennui and helplessness which even the so called capable and assertive brass of our society fall prey to. The heterogeneities and conflicts boiling within and outside do force us to seek an escape, a temporary sense of control, and suppressed over time this strife finds violent expressions. I very clearly remember, it was around 2002 -03 that in Delhi only there were frequent news pieces about girls being picked in cars , raped and then thrown out of different cars. I don’t remember whether the culprits were caught or not, but there were 3, 4 similar incidents of such sort. What worries most is the fact that such modus operandi deployed to such shameless ends indeed reveals how deep this sickness has crippled our psyche. Parallel to this there are scattered news flashes of sex rackets being discovered in the heart of cities and girls being fetched from small towns and forced into prostitution. Not only has our country flourished along the lines of inter state flesh trade within the land but is also gradually proving to be a convenient transit hub in the international trafficking. You have the example of Kamathipura where ,it has been found that children of 11 to 13 years are the ones most coveted by customers.
I say all this just to cover in part of how this threat, this diseased psyche of our society is going to put a question before your revolting self to constrain and I dare say decide for you as to how you can express your ‘confident’ self out there.
There is another very cunning side to this issue where the role of corporate , media and entertainment industry stands to be criticized. Over the past two and a half decades, if one looks at how the advertisement industry has changed , the kind of themes being projected before a huge and rather gullible strata of consumers to sell their products , is rather amusing. Gone are the days of a sweet little girl saying’ I love you Rasna’ . Today a mango flavoured beverage connotes a bollywood hottie getting really turned on like a bitch in heat by just gulping one drop of it ,because it isn’t just a mango, it is aamasutra at your service if you don’t know kamasutra. Then there are soap brands showing the same gorgeous beauties revealing their clean armpits, flawless skins and shapely legs before taking a bath, which seems more like a poetry in movements and I wonder how such a luxury of time and comfort materializes in the lives of the middle class wives and mothers of our society. If that wasn’t enough , there is an ad by one reputed shoe company which appeals to the female customers to purchase their particular line of shoes for ‘toned’ butts. I am a great fan of the minds behind that ad because for obvious reasons it is a feast for mind body and soul . But curiosity still haunts as to where the need for an extremely fine tuned posterior comes. I mean proportionate is understandable , disproportionate, quite visibly unacceptable, but this much attention for hips is what baffles me. But the ad shows happy confident young women shaking their behinds in a sense of jubilation , giving a promise of what was attainable has been attained, and now it’s our turn to do the same.
Coming to bollywood I must say, we have come a long way from asking really deep existential doubts like ‘Choli ke piche kya hai ?’ to appreciating why Sheila doesn’t need a man in her life because being capable enough she knows ways and means to pleasure herself which no mortal can avail. Kudos I must say. Then there are such inferior level displays of coitus on screen, a spoof like imitation of Hollywood glory but without the similar maturity of expressions and frankness. There you are allowed to see what all is to be seen,but here they just seem to titillate the ‘consumer needs’ and shy away from a responsible portrayal of such an obvious , natural and many times said to be the purest expression of love.
Well, without saying more all I want to emphasize is that such demands of more and more freedom in choices of clothing, of ensuring safety on streets , of ensuring dignity of women in and out of homes are just and earnestly needed. But they cannot come by creating such demands on one side and hammering on the very roots of our ethics which enshrine such principles. The visible and print media, having the greatest reach and thus penetration into the socio cultural lives of the people , must take a critical view of its position and role in shaping and nurturing these perspectives. Parallel to this the government , civil society and administration must seek to neutralize the penetrative mechanisms that render such positive efforts fruitless . Such untoward incidents of women being raped in police stations are a mark of shame on a welfare state. Last but not the least comes the role of people themselves of carrying themselves in a responsible fashion . It doesn’t take long for freedom to be abused as anarchy and such a transformation has repercussions for everyone, and this is what needs to be understood in a progressive and forward looking society.
